Women in Horror Recognition Month is coming to an end. Yes, I'm sad as well. :( Of course we can celebrate talented and creative women any day of the year (and certainly should) but having a month devoted to the cause is fun. In case you have squandered your time by not using it to celebrate women of horror, I have taken the time to compile a list of horror films that were made by women. This is not, of course, all of them but it's a solid chunk of mainstream. That way you can easily use the remainder of the weekend to catch up. Pop these movies in now and you can say you've done something for the good of female filmmakers. Who knows? Maybe some of these will surprise you. Maybe you'll spy a flick you didn't even know was made by women. That then falls under education and it means I've done my part. We all win.
1. American Psycho was adapted for the screen by Mary Harron and Guinevere Turner. It was directed by Mary Harron. Fun fact: Mary Harron was also the only woman to direct an episode of "Masters of Horror"/ "Fear Itself".
2. Stephen King wrote his own screenplay for Pet Sematary but it was directed by Mary Lambert. It then went on to be one of the most memorable and oft-quoted horror films of the last two decades. She also went on to direct the sequel.
3. Ravenous is an amazing film. It's creative, funny, twisted, and gut wrenching. The actors (such an incredible cast, too) pull off some memorable performances as they are directed by Antonia Bird. If you've missed this gem, you must fix that pronto.
4. The Slumber Party Massacre was written by feminist Rita Mae Brown and directed by Amy Holden Jones. With this film they took hold of the slasher and proved that women know how to do it, too. So there.
5. It's true that those above have all been modern films but that doesn't mean women were soft before then. Ida Lupino directed The Hitch Hiker (1953) which was based on real life multiple murderer Billy Cook. She had to change the death count to three from five to appease the censors so she could take more than they could.
BAM!
6. Rachel Talalay directed the fifth sequel in the ever popular A Nightmare on Elm Street series. Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare.
7. Kathryn Bigelow (before taking home the Oscar) dipped her brush into the horror palette as well with the western/horror hybrid Near Dark that she co-wrote and directed. It didn't make much money upon release but has reached cult status now.
8. I'm wrestling with myself over whether or not the following film is actual horror but it's one of my favorites so I'm sticking it in because I want to. The IMDb categorizes it as a thriller so that's close e-damn-nough. Therefore I give you Boxing Helena, directed by Jennifer Chambers Lynch and starring Sherilyn Fenn, one of the sexiest women ever created.
9. For those who think women can't stomach gore or can't handle something really bloody, I give you Blood Diner directed by Jackie Kong.
10. Now you can feel what you wish about Claire Denis' French horror Trouble Every Day. Truthfully it received a lot of harsh criticisms but no one can say that's it not an example of just how twisted women can be. If you need proof positive that we can attack disturbing themes, this is it. Adding Vincent Gallo to any film accomplishes that much. lol You can also spot Beatrice Dalle from Inside.
Okay, that's ten. It's a good, round number and plenty enough to get you started. But that's just the tip of the iceberg. I named mostly films you might know by heart and tossed in a couple that are more obscure to tweak your brain but women are working hard in the industry every day. A fantastic way to see what indie women filmmakers are up to is to go to viscerafilmfestival.com. Seriously, go there.
Viscera was created by independent champion Shannon Lark to promote and encourage female filmmakers in the genre. Submission ends on the 28, February for this year but if you're hankering to get your work out there, there's always next year. And if you don't fancy yourself a filmmaker, you can still support. Go there to see how.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Just a Few Who've Helped Me Be - Part 1
In honor of Black History Month I'd like to highlight some inspiring people who helped make me who I am today for one reason or another. I am not of African descent (to my knowledge) but the lessons we learn from those who go before us are universal. Thank you for helping me be who I am.
Martin Luther King, Jr. taught me that even the most difficult of dreams can be realized if you stand up for what you believe and refuse to take "no" for an answer.
Harriet Tubman taught me that the right way is usually not the easy way and that sometimes you have to go through a lot of heartache when you're on the right track. Hmm unintentional pun there but I'll take it.
Richard Pryor taught me that laughing at yourself is sometimes the best thing you can do. He also taught me not to play with matches.
Eddie Murphy taught me that who you are in your twenties has fuck all to do with who you are for the rest of your life. By that, I mean never say never, basically, 'cause you just don't know.
Martin Luther King, Jr. taught me that even the most difficult of dreams can be realized if you stand up for what you believe and refuse to take "no" for an answer.
Harriet Tubman taught me that the right way is usually not the easy way and that sometimes you have to go through a lot of heartache when you're on the right track. Hmm unintentional pun there but I'll take it.
Pam Grier taught me that beauty is timeless. When you're truly beautiful, age is not a factor.
As a horror fan as well as a human being, Blacula taught me not to judge anything by its cover. As a child I always thought it looked campy and cheesy. Then when I got around to watching it I realized that Blacula is freakin' scary stuff. Dig it.
Redd Foxx taught me that you can find humor in most anything. His was one of my favorite shows growing up and I still watch it every day (TV Land at 7PM). You should, too, ya big dummy!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
5 Things I Never Need to Hear Again
Sometimes in life there are things that gain momentary popularity or, for some other reason, become the fashion. Specifically I am referring to elements of speech. Eventually those cute phrases or handy monikers wear out their welcome and become ear poison. Once that happens, hearing them uttered is akin to brain rape. We must learn when enough is enough. What is clever one day is annoying the next. Some people lack the judgment to determine when the changeover occurs and must be told. Alrighty then (see what I did there?), good people, help is on the way. I have compiled a list of ne'ersays that I think most of us will agree should be stricken from the word list. Without further ado, I give you five examples of:
Stuff I Never Need to Hear Ever Again
1. Step up/Step Up to the Plate - I get it. It's cute. When a baseball player has a turn at bat, he "steps up to the plate." That means he is ready to handle his responsibility. That is an adorable and effective metaphor but I'm done with it now. You will hear it everywhere from talk shows (usually referring to someone "stepping up" to take care of the baby they just found out they have when they got paternity tested along with fourteen other people) to reality shows but never, it seems, during a baseball game. Well stop it. It's over. Pick another sport and come up with something new.
2. Literally/Actually - I grouped these two together because they are legitimate words that have a place in our language when used correctly. They made the list because folks bandy them about like they were handing them out at the free clinic. They do have real meanings, you know. There is no need to ever use them incorrectly. You did not "literally" die when anyone said anything. That is obvious if you are now reading this. "Actually" is not a filler. It doesn't just go anywhere when you feel like you need additional syllables as in, "What high school did you attend?" "Nuke 'em High, actually." Well okay. If you did attend Nuke'em High, I give you permission to use the word. Otherwise...NO!
If you are at all unsure of how to use the above words, just don't do it. Trust me when I tell you it actually removes all validity from the remainder of your sentence. Literally.
3. Throwing Anyone Under the Bus - Every time any group of people is up for elimination of any kind, someone gets "thrown under the bus." Again, it is an effective metaphor. I can picture it clearly. You want someone out of your way, what do you do? You wait on the corner for a bus to go by and toss 'em under it. It happens every day. Recently, a contestant on "Face Off" used the term and added the colorful bit, "cross town" bus. That doesn't help. Every time I hear that phrase I want to follow suit literally.
4. 24/7 or 24/7/365 - These are both useful terms if you are a 7-11 employee explaining your business hours. Otherwise, stop it. What the hell is wrong with just saying, "every day?" It only makes sense. The longer of the two above has nine syllables. Nine. "Every day" only has four. I'd say that's much more verbally economical and in times like these we should save every bit we can.
5. Take It to the Next Level - Whenever someone is discussing their relationship, you can almost always count on this phrase popping out. If you aren't playing a video game I don't want to hear it.
Inigo Montoya has something to say on the matter as well.
Stuff I Never Need to Hear Ever Again
1. Step up/Step Up to the Plate - I get it. It's cute. When a baseball player has a turn at bat, he "steps up to the plate." That means he is ready to handle his responsibility. That is an adorable and effective metaphor but I'm done with it now. You will hear it everywhere from talk shows (usually referring to someone "stepping up" to take care of the baby they just found out they have when they got paternity tested along with fourteen other people) to reality shows but never, it seems, during a baseball game. Well stop it. It's over. Pick another sport and come up with something new.
2. Literally/Actually - I grouped these two together because they are legitimate words that have a place in our language when used correctly. They made the list because folks bandy them about like they were handing them out at the free clinic. They do have real meanings, you know. There is no need to ever use them incorrectly. You did not "literally" die when anyone said anything. That is obvious if you are now reading this. "Actually" is not a filler. It doesn't just go anywhere when you feel like you need additional syllables as in, "What high school did you attend?" "Nuke 'em High, actually." Well okay. If you did attend Nuke'em High, I give you permission to use the word. Otherwise...NO!
If you are at all unsure of how to use the above words, just don't do it. Trust me when I tell you it actually removes all validity from the remainder of your sentence. Literally.
3. Throwing Anyone Under the Bus - Every time any group of people is up for elimination of any kind, someone gets "thrown under the bus." Again, it is an effective metaphor. I can picture it clearly. You want someone out of your way, what do you do? You wait on the corner for a bus to go by and toss 'em under it. It happens every day. Recently, a contestant on "Face Off" used the term and added the colorful bit, "cross town" bus. That doesn't help. Every time I hear that phrase I want to follow suit literally.
4. 24/7 or 24/7/365 - These are both useful terms if you are a 7-11 employee explaining your business hours. Otherwise, stop it. What the hell is wrong with just saying, "every day?" It only makes sense. The longer of the two above has nine syllables. Nine. "Every day" only has four. I'd say that's much more verbally economical and in times like these we should save every bit we can.
5. Take It to the Next Level - Whenever someone is discussing their relationship, you can almost always count on this phrase popping out. If you aren't playing a video game I don't want to hear it.
Inigo Montoya has something to say on the matter as well.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Rules to Live By: The Elevator Edition
It never takes long to get me going again. I'm a really nice person but it's fairly easy to get me riled, depending on the subject. Common Courtesy is one thing that takes me to the edge every time. That is what inspired me to start writing "Rules to Live by and I Fucking Mean It." Here's an example:
Elevator Etiquette:
An elevator (or lift for my across the pond friends) can be a safe and fun way to travel up and down within a building. Willy Wonka has other ideas but, let's face it, he's a man far ahead of his time. Using an elevator is relatively simple compared to most things. It mainly involves pushing a button, waiting, stepping in, waiting, stepping out and going about your day. Some people, however, insist on making everything difficult and stressful. Here are some rules for those guys.
1. It works just like the bus or subway, people. When it comes to a stop, those EXITING the elevator get to leave. Then those ENTERING the elevator get on. No muss, no fuss. It won't leave without you. Just wait your freakin turn. There is no need to run over that poor old lady with the stroller, I promise.
2. You only have to press the button once. Jabbing the button repeatedly with your thumb might get you money on Jeopardy (unless you're up against Watson) but it won't get the elevator there any faster. I promise. As a matter of fact if I was the elevator, I'd go extra slow just to piss you off.
3. If there are only a couple of people on the elevator, you don't have to move to the center when the doors are about to open, arms flailing, screaming, "this is my floor!" Do you also have those airport guys wave you into parking spots? Chill out. It's going to stop on your floor because that is what elevators do.
4. Everyone knows number four but somehow it remains a problem. Basically, don't crowd people you don't know. Being forced into a tiny cubicle with a slew of strangers might be a good time for some but, surprisingly, many people do not enjoy it. Have a little respect for your fellow passengers and "give 'im room, Brody."
Maybe these people have the right idea. Assign your standing areas to avoid unnecessary altercations.
She really hates it when people don't obey the rules.
Elevator Etiquette:
An elevator (or lift for my across the pond friends) can be a safe and fun way to travel up and down within a building. Willy Wonka has other ideas but, let's face it, he's a man far ahead of his time. Using an elevator is relatively simple compared to most things. It mainly involves pushing a button, waiting, stepping in, waiting, stepping out and going about your day. Some people, however, insist on making everything difficult and stressful. Here are some rules for those guys.
1. It works just like the bus or subway, people. When it comes to a stop, those EXITING the elevator get to leave. Then those ENTERING the elevator get on. No muss, no fuss. It won't leave without you. Just wait your freakin turn. There is no need to run over that poor old lady with the stroller, I promise.
2. You only have to press the button once. Jabbing the button repeatedly with your thumb might get you money on Jeopardy (unless you're up against Watson) but it won't get the elevator there any faster. I promise. As a matter of fact if I was the elevator, I'd go extra slow just to piss you off.
3. If there are only a couple of people on the elevator, you don't have to move to the center when the doors are about to open, arms flailing, screaming, "this is my floor!" Do you also have those airport guys wave you into parking spots? Chill out. It's going to stop on your floor because that is what elevators do.
4. Everyone knows number four but somehow it remains a problem. Basically, don't crowd people you don't know. Being forced into a tiny cubicle with a slew of strangers might be a good time for some but, surprisingly, many people do not enjoy it. Have a little respect for your fellow passengers and "give 'im room, Brody."
Maybe these people have the right idea. Assign your standing areas to avoid unnecessary altercations.
She really hates it when people don't obey the rules.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Stuff That Doesn't Suck
The last couple of days I've been bitching a lot. It's okay to say so. I know it's true. Well now I'd like to lighten things up a bit by sharing a few things that make me smile. Here is some stuff I like:
My Favorite Song
My favorite Director
My Favorite Film
My Favorite Villain
My Favorite TV Show Intro
My Favorite Zombie Movie
My Favorite Werewolves
My Favorite Song
My favorite Director
My Favorite Film
My Favorite Villain
My Favorite Zombie Movie
And these are a few of my favorite things...I invite you to share yours with me. :) What makes you happy?
I'll let Mr. Wonka take us out with his response to Surv's quiz answer.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
What Part of "I Feel Like Crap" Do You NOT Understand?
If I walk into work head in hands, eyes squinted in pain, and I head straight for the Excedrin, what the fuck do you think that means? If you haven't yet figured it out, it means, "leave me the hell alone." If you feel like your head is splitting in two, do you really want someone snort-laughing in your ear, completely oblivious to the fact that you feel like you got run over? Twice?
I consider it common courtesy to feel out a situation and respond appropriately. If a friend or coworker is obviously (because they've even told me so) not feeling well, I will step away from the ill party and LEAVE THEM THE HELL ALONE. Don't make me yell at you then act wounded because you are the one who failed to properly decipher body language paired with spoken English. It will get ugly if you don't step away and I won't feel one bit bad about it. Where were you when they taught social interaction in Kindergarten?
Am I crabby? You bet your ass I'm crabby. My sinuses are staging a coup, my head is going to explode and I feel like shit. Do not make me talk about how excited you are to be getting your Girl Scout Cookies at 8 AM. Consider this a fair warning.
I consider it common courtesy to feel out a situation and respond appropriately. If a friend or coworker is obviously (because they've even told me so) not feeling well, I will step away from the ill party and LEAVE THEM THE HELL ALONE. Don't make me yell at you then act wounded because you are the one who failed to properly decipher body language paired with spoken English. It will get ugly if you don't step away and I won't feel one bit bad about it. Where were you when they taught social interaction in Kindergarten?
Am I crabby? You bet your ass I'm crabby. My sinuses are staging a coup, my head is going to explode and I feel like shit. Do not make me talk about how excited you are to be getting your Girl Scout Cookies at 8 AM. Consider this a fair warning.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Do Something Sweet for Valentine's Day
Viscera Film Festival on IndieGoGo
If you don't know about Viscera, you must not pay attention to me very much. Shannon Lark created Viscera years ago to aid females within the horror industry in getting their stuff seen. We have a bloody carpet event coming to LA in July at which awards will be given and good times had by all. The submission deadline for this year is February 28th - that's only two weeks. BUT go to http://www.viscerafilmfestival.com for information and get ready for next year.
In the meantime, help us out by donating at indiegogo for THIS year. Every cent helps out.
Thanks!
If you don't know about Viscera, you must not pay attention to me very much. Shannon Lark created Viscera years ago to aid females within the horror industry in getting their stuff seen. We have a bloody carpet event coming to LA in July at which awards will be given and good times had by all. The submission deadline for this year is February 28th - that's only two weeks. BUT go to http://www.viscerafilmfestival.com for information and get ready for next year.
In the meantime, help us out by donating at indiegogo for THIS year. Every cent helps out.
Thanks!
Happy Valentine's Day!!
Hello all and here's to a happy Valentine's Day. I realize everyone isn't a fan but I am. Blah, blah, blah corporate holiday. I hear all that and I don't care. Valentine's Day is just like any other holiday...or regular day for that matter. It is what you make of it. You don't like it? Don't celebrate. But leave me out of your cantankering. I don't have time for all the negativity. Life sucks enough.
Have a box of chocolates and either enjoy it, or stick it up your ass! Your choice.
xoxo
Have a box of chocolates and either enjoy it, or stick it up your ass! Your choice.xoxo
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Welcome to More Maven
This is the inaugural post for The Pocket Guide to Mavenese. This will be where I go to rant, share cool stuff and talk about whatever I damn well please. I welcome everyone inside my head. Enjoy the ramblings if it's your cup of tea. And please feel free to comment if you choose. However, if you have nothing constructive to say and just wish to be an asshole, then you can visit someone else. This is my space. Respect that. If you are still reading after all of that, then welcome aboard, Friend. If you're already gone then you won't see that I just called you a douche.
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